From straw bale houses to Buckingham palace, every single household is affected by marital bullying. Among all the issues that come forth; marital problems are always among the showstoppers. People might think of it as a stupid joke as there are so many intense issues around the globe that need to be highlighted amongst the masses. Where poverty, illiteracy, gender inequality, racism, and many other problems are at stake, I am emphasizing marital issues. Where people are finding ways to settle on Mars, I am highlighting the typical marital fights. Why? Am I out of my mind? No, I am totally in my senses but maybe people are not because just due to our negligence it has now become a global issue.
This issue, being a very stupid one for the lot, had grown its roots way back, now it is just giving its fruits. It is one of the most relatable topics among the people, especially women, but even then we don’t consider it to be a serious problem and just think of it as a gossip that helps us soothe our mind thinking that we are not alone in this grind. I wouldn’t have ever talked about it because whenever I heard the problems I thought they were absurd and I mocked people out who considered them as a pain in the neck until I myself administered that marital problems are actually a part of every marriage. May it be a beggar or a princess’s marriage the issues are the same worldwide, no one is safe from this venom.
Marital problems include a very long list but among all these; revolts between daughter-in-laws and mother-in-laws top the list. First, it was thought that due to illiteracy of women in the subcontinent these issues have propagated but the most educated and elite women have proved that it is the norm of every marriage. It is confirmed that women are the same all around. It doesn’t matter whether she is a poor, illiterate, old-fashioned girl or she is a rich, well-educated and modern princess; she is a venomous snake for the mother-in-law and a demon for the daughter-in-law.
Meghan in a recent interview with Oprah Winfrey proved that the typical ‘saas bahu’ fights are also the royal ones. The way she told that her clothes, the way she sat, her color, the personality she supposedly had and her general suitability were under constant scrutiny and all this compelled her to commit suicide; I personally thought that as if I was watching a star plus tv serial. It is hard to say who is the oppressed one among Meghan and Elizabeth but one thing is sure that women are each other’s worst enemies. As Kelly Valen’s book ‘The Twisted Sisterhood’ reveals that almost 90% women felt “currents of meanness and negativity emanating from other females”. And almost 85% admitted having suffered serious, life-altering knocks at the hands of other women. This way I think both are to be questioned equally.
The real question is that what are actually the causes of these customary fights? Primarily, I think the problems occur due to the ideological differences between the two different people, nurtured by different cultures coming together for incessant interaction causing friction. The jealousies, competitions, insecurities, comparisons, interferences and the feeling of loosing the most precious asset makes the two beautiful women as crones. If we look overthe history we can see that all the fights and wars that have occurred in the world were basically between the existing old order with the new order, where both were trying to dominate over the other, eventually the stronger one would prevail and dominate over the weak. In a nutshell we can say that the mother-in-law is an old feudal lord, wife is the new capitalist looking for imperialism and mercantilism. Both unfortunately have only one arable land and a promising market and that profitable asset is actually the poorest man on earth.
These issues were always in the picture but now as the problems were highlighted by Meghan, it has become the talk of the town. Daily thousands of girls suffer through taunts, rude and abusive comments, they are made guilty for being themselves, they are body-shamed, if they raise their voices they are labeled, every step they take is scrutinized. Not only the daughter-in-laws are at stake but even mother-in-laws suffer at the hands of their own daughter-in-laws; majority of times ending up in old age homes. The difference between Meghan’s situation with the ordinary one is that she got Oprah to interview her and ordinary women have gossip aunties. The news spreads either way but it is not called out for on social platforms.
This menace causes stressful environment in the house, disturbed conversations and bitterness among individuals, constant bickering and complaining takes away the peace and prosperity of the house. It also causes mental problems causing depression, anxiety, bipolar disorders and hence leading an increase in the suicidal and domestic violence rates. Women have now started to march against men in the name of women empowerment and gender equality but we are forgetting one thing that nothing can be achieved until we women form a single strong unit or else we will be diminished from within and we would not require any external force for our disintegration.
It is human nature that we take a few things as trivial but forget that every single drop is responsible for making the mighty ages of eternity. We need to take necessary actions before it gets too late because in order to change the world we have to first look into our own collars. I hope that we overcome this deadly virus before it infects every household. I hope that the vaccine would be discovered before time but until then we have to strictly follow the SOP’s.